It’s like a seven year itch. Only it’s usually every 3-4 months, and it’s a new subscription to one of the biggie online dating sites. My latest foray into winkdom led me down a slippery slope… With a douchebag. Went something like this.
Cute guy winks at me. Check out his profile – he passes the typical pre-reqs: single (you’d be surprised), employed, educated, can use spell check or at the least has a tenth grade grammar ability, doesnt claim to work out daily or confess to a love of the clublife, and a profile pic where I can see his face.
He emails- short, polite. Fine, I answer just as shortly and politely as I’ve learned you have to “mirror” communication style much like my psych 101 class taught me to mirror non-verbals… I digress. He asks for more full length photos. Being the over-analytical pessimist I am, I come close to deleting, but decide to go against my better judgement and refer to my consultants, also known as my office mates. They convince me it may be perfectly innocent and men are visual beings. I reluctantly stand up, hand on hip for a photo by said officemates turned Ms. Bossys, hand over my phone number to Mr. Body and hold my breath as four minutes later a text pops up. It’s a simple hi, hello, and I reply with a pic and ask for his in return. Ten minutes later and I hear the familiar faint buzz of my phone and can’t bear to look, fearing the worse….the obligatory penis pic. Thankfully it wasn’t Mr. Body’s “mister” but rather two bathroom mirror shots of his top half…and a mighty fine one at that. And then…another text comes through, asking for me to send a bit more.
Seriously? Couldn’t you just defy the laws of gravity for once and not be the total douchebag I was expecting? I held back my usual snarky self and simply responded I didn’t think we were a match and good luck. He responded and asked why at first, then three minutes later he couldn’t help his over inflated ego and responded sayin, “never mind, don’t really care anyways. Good luck.”
Gee, thanks Mr. Totally Predictable Douchbag that gives Good Guys a bad name.